i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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