We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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