you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize