I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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