Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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