and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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