wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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