a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
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we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
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Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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