after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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