I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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