ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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