Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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