I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize