I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm bleeding and have questions
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize