One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Mom said you looked used
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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