Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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