You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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