god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
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While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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