i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize