hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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