dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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