chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize