my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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