I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize