he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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