Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize