my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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