Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize