I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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