im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize