I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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