shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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