I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
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it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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