final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
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I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
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I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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