Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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