so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
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she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
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I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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