Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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