I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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