I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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