i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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