Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize