i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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