I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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