does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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