My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
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He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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