I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize