He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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