I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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