R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
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Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
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Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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