I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize